No, this is not a fever dream. You have not had too much cheese before bedtime. AEW have officially announced that next week’s Fyter Fest finale will feature the first ever ‘Puppy Battle Royal’!
Whilst details are scarce, we have spoken extensively to wrestling historians this morning* who have confirmed that the current canine battle royal champion is considered to be ‘The British Bulldog’ Davey Boy Smith who famously won a battle royal at the Royal Albert Hall, London in 1991.
Early favourites for this match are considered to be entrants titled The Junkyard Dog and The Road Dogg. Unfortunately, rumours suggest ‘The Big Dog’ has refused to leave his kennel since March so will be unable to compete.
Due to contractual obligations with another company, Spaniel Bryan has had to withdraw from the match. His place will be taken by the veteran, Labradory Funk Jr.
Fans have already expressed their concern that Pharoah Rhodes will be once again pushed down their throats with a strong showing here, despite as yet not displaying a strong grasp of fundamentals and natural charisma that will allow him to justify the main event push he has been given in AEW to date.
Commentary to be provided by the team of Matilda and and Fifi Dupree.
*Yeah, we didn’t really. In fact, everything from the asterisk onwards was ever-so-slightly tongue-in-cheek. Please accept our apologies for dogging it. Whoops!