HELLO AND WELCOME to The Big Review of AEW Double or Nothing 2020!
The sequel to All Elite Wrestling’s inaugural pay-per-view of the same name promises to be quite a show, and is coming at you like a beam, like a ray, LIVE from the home of the Jacksonville Jaguars in Florida.
I’m Mike, and as always, I’ll be doing the written equivalent of live-reacting to the show since I’m about to watch it, start to finish, for the first time.
I’m settled down, strapped in and snacked up, so with that said, let’s get cracking into the pre-show!
Private Party (Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen) vs Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent)
Tag Team Number One Contenders’ Match for a future AEW Tag Team Championship Match
There was no build for this match and very little to go on as to who’s likely to take it since both pairings are faces, and so are the champions. A cheeky heel turn for Private Party would be fun, but in terms of a prediction, I’m going for the team whose music I like most.
My prediction: Bow wubada-bow wubada-bow wubada Best Friends
The two teams just about manage to shake hands before this one gets kicked off, and for the first five minutes or so, this feels like a pre-season friendly. However, an attempt at a Silly String on Trent causes the Best Friend’s legs to slightly buckle underneath him, and with that fairly small mistake, both teams put their feet on the gas.
After Trent gets a bit of time to recover, he hits a rib-shattering spear to Kassidy on the outside before Quen hits a gigantic tope con giro to redress the match. A little while later, Best Friends get Quen to the top for a massive double superplex, which puts Quen in peril for the next few minutes.
At that point he almost breaks Trent’s jaw with a dropkick and hits the hot tag to Kassidy – but the overall story of this match, I have to say, is that Best Friends are in control, while Private Party are constantly fighting their way back from underneath.
Even when Private Party get towards near-fall situations, the non-pinned Best Friend always manages to prevent the loss – and eventually, after they block a Gin & Juice attempt, they hit Storm Zero on Quen for the victory after 16 solid minutes.
Winners: Best Friends (1/1)
I’ve got to say, for a pre-show match, that was extremely entertaining. Down the line, perhaps with the titles on the line and a solid 20-25 minutes to shine, I’d love to see these two teams go at it again.
Darby Allin vs. Colt Cabana vs. Orange Cassidy vs. Joey Janela vs. Scorpio Sky vs. Kip Sabian vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Luchasaurus vs. TBA
Casino Ladder Match for a future AEW World Championship Match
My heart says Darby Allin here since I absolutely love the guy and would love to see him take a proper run at the world title – but the chance of a match-ending Coffin Drop is too much for my head to look past. So tonight, Matthew, I’m going with the mysterious “TBA”. I have no idea who it’s going to be, but I don’t quite think any of the announced competitors – Allin aside – are going to be pushed into the title picture any time soon.
My prediction: Whoever the TBA challenger is. I really hope it’s Drew Gulak.
This match starts with two men, while the rest will enter every two minutes, Royal Rumble-style. SCU’s Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky are the first in the ring, to which JR points out they could just work together to take the chip for a title opportunity within their faction, and to be honest… yeah, they could. And they should! Both men go for ladders without fighting! SCU ARE GOING TO TAKE THE CHIP AFTER JUST 30 SECONDS!
Obviously I don’t need to tell you they don’t do that, and in fact nobody wins the chip before every competitor enters the match. Two minutes after SCU kick off, we’re joined by Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford on the ramp – while Jimmy Havoc, Sabian’s partner, jumps into the ring with a ladder from the blind side and takes out both members of SCU.
Darby Allin joins us next as the commentary team go on about him being the favourite, thus reducing his chances of winning to zero. He isn’t going to leave without making a mark, though – specifically on Kazarian’s face with his skateboard, before missing a massive dive towards Kazarian that plants him through a set-up ladder at ringside.
The carnage allows Orange Cassidy to enter, sauntering over to the announce table to ask them what the rules of the match are. Does anyone not love Freshly Squeezed?
He spends two minutes hilariously failing to understand how ladders work before Colt Cabana enters. He cruelly tricks Cassidy before being literally hoisted by his own petard, launched off a ladder and into the turnbuckles by SCU. Joey Janela, replacing Rey Fenix in this match, enters to little fanfare before Luchasaurus arrives to absolutely clean house. He’s put in his place by a recovered Allin, and then, the final two minutes count down. It’s time for TBA! The mystery man is…
BRIAN CAGE!! A huge pickup for AEW, accompanied to the ring by Tazz – who’s been visibly trying to recruit Allin in recent weeks – and introduces himself to the All Elite faithful by taking a smaller ladder and ripping it in half. Cage is here, he’s jacked, and I really hope the rest of the wrestlers in this match have good dental insurance.
He positively kills Allin and Sabin before Scorpio Sky has a go, and… yeah. Cage is some sort of Brock Lesnar/Cesaro hybrid who might commit murder before the night is over. He climbs the ladder with Orange Cassidy on his back, but all the other competitors drag him down, wipe him out with a ladder to the face, then bury him under all the debris they can find.
With Cage down, the match resumes as normal. Orange Cassidy should win it, but Jimmy Havoc re-enters the match to deny him. Best Friends arrive to assist, then Marko Stunt is in there as well… I mean, I know these ladder matches are no DQ, but is the whole roster going to stick their oar in before this one is over?
Jimmy Havoc, in fact, has been in the match more than actual legal man Joey Janela, but he reminds us he’s here by drilling Cassidy through the Cage debris with a Death Valley Driver… and after some general ladder matchery, we finally get the showdown we want: Brian Cage and Luchasaurus going mano-a-dino.
It simply proves to show what an absolute unit Cage is – eventually launching Luchasaurus into a corner ladder with a huge Jackknife powerbomb that probably shouldn’t be physically possible.
He then hits Darby Allin with a Steiner Screwdriver that commentary call the Drill Claw but I’m going to name Intensive Care, since that’s where Darby is going to spend the next few weeks – especially after Cage then military presses Allin, on a ladder, over his head and dangerously annihilates him to the outside before calmly climbing the ladder and taking down the chip.
Brian Cage is not just something else – he’s the man with a guaranteed AEW World Championship shot.
Winner: Mr TBA, Brian Cage (2/2)
Well, if you didn’t know who Brian Cage was, you do now. The de-facto number one contender for the AEW World Championship, he is a massive, imposing, impressive hybrid athlete. What a great signing by AEW. Can’t wait to see how they book him moving forward.
MJF (w/ Wardlow) vs Jungle Boy
MJF is one of the best heels in wrestling. Among everything else he’s great because he becomes stronger regardless of whether he wins or loses, so he could eat a Jack Perry roll-up on any other night – but not this one. After his recent return from injury and with Wardlow in his corner, plus bearing in mind that he’s never been pinned or submitted in AEW, it’s MJF all day long for me.
Matthew Maxwell Jacob Friedman
The only surprise to me at the start of this match is that MJF and Jungle Boy are pretty much the same size – I thought MJF was enormous, but he’s got himself super cut for his return.
The rest of this isn’t surprising at all: a brilliant hero vs villain wrestling match that’s played to perfection by both men. After some superb athletic back and forthery to open, MJF uses classic heel tactics to feign injury in order to thump Jungle Boy from behind and take control of the majority of the next five-or-so minutes. Jungle Boy then escapes to hit some huge dives and springboards, but an arm injury slows him down – and MJF targets it to regain control of the match.
The two go toe-to-toe before the action spills onto the apron for the first huge spot of the contest: Jungle Boy hits a reverse-rana onto the famous hardest part of the ring, and once he’s dragged MJF’s carcass back into the ring, he then smashes him with a top rope avalanche Ligerbomb for an incredibly close near fall – two and seven eighths! Oof, what a false finish. I didn’t think it was going to end there, but my god, it was close.
It seems certain that Jungle Boy’s duff arm is going to be his downfall in the end, and after a close pinfall exchange, MJF reverses a Jungle Boy pin into a modified European clutch pinfall for the one, two, three. Super move by MJF, a great little wrestling roll-up, and not a single outside shenanigan in sight.
Winner: MJF (3/3)
Great match between two brilliant young professional wrestlers who are destined to be the future of not only this company, but this industry. No, it’s just been raining on my face.
Cody (w/ Arn Anderson & Brandi Rhodes) vs Lance Archer (w/ Jake Roberts)
Tournament Finals for the inaugural AEW TNT Championship
This is a really tough one to predict and I’ve changed my mind several times in the build up.
For a long time I found myself leaning towards Lance Archer; his monstrous run since being introduced alongside Jake the Snake doesn’t really feel like it can have its momentum halted. Plus, with Iron Mike Tyson presenting the belt to the winner, I can’t help but salivate at the prospect of a staredown between him, Jake and Archer during the ceremony.
However, an announcement on this week’s Dynamite conclusively changed my mind. There’s going to be a TNT Championship #1 Contender’s Battle Royal on the next episode of the show which, to me, screams of a Lance Archer demolition job to set him up with a rematch down the line where he takes the title. However, in the first instance, I think AEW will want the history books to say that Cody was the first ever TNT Champion.
My prediction: Cody
The first action of the match is… Archer gets Cody over his head! BLACKOUT!! This could be over after just a few seconds!! Archer goes down for a cover… but Cody manages to roll out of the ring. My goodness, what an explosive start here. Archer could be champ within moments of the first bell!
I’ve got to say, after that start it feels like this match could be over pretty quickly, but it continues for a while – and most of that while features Lance Archer simply pulverising Cody in and around the ring.
A brilliant accidental camera shot of Mike Tyson wearing the belt and yawning in a folding chair at ringside makes me scream with laughter for long enough that I miss Cody’s attempt at a comeback, but by the time I’ve composed myself we’re back to Archer in charge, throwing Cody fully over the turnbuckle and down to the outside. Brutal stuff from the Murderhawk Monster.
We’re up to more or less 15 minutes of Archer dominance, and it feels like only a matter of time before he puts Cody away… but out of nowhere, Cody catches a modified STF submission! Archer is out, but he’s hurt, and Jake the Snake knows it – he tries to distract our hero and succeeds long enough for Archer to hit a massive spinebuster right in the face of Arn Anderson! He waits too long, though, and Cody hits a top-rope cutter… that only gets a one count. Man, this Archer is a beast. Tag team with Brian Cage? Let’s not think about that for now.
Cody rallies to hit some classic Dusty Rhodes on Archer before suddenly hooking him up, and hitting Cross Rhodes! It’s surely over! NO! Archer out at two, and recovers into a chokeslam that Cody barely escapes! This has turned into a brawl that could genuinely go either way.
After some slow-paced, close-run action, it’s shenanigans time – and surprisingly, the first to get physically involved is Arn Anderson, who crotches Archer on the top rope before Cody hits a very, very worrying-looking avalanche reverse suplex that seems to drop Archer right on his head. It’s not a good moment, and we can only hope Archer is okay as Arn is ejected from ringside for his interference.
It seems it’ll be crucial that Archer still has Roberts in his corner, but as the veteran approaches the ring with his familiar bag of snake, Mike Tyson – for no real reason, it has to be said – jumps out of his chair, rips off his shirt, and challenges Jake the Snake Roberts to a fist-fight. Jake, to his credit, doesn’t want anything to do with it and skulks off to the back, leaving Cody to hit not one, but two further Cross Rhodeses on a stricken Archer and covering for the decisive three count! Cody is the first ever TNT Champion!
Winner: Cody (4/4)
Really good match that was pitched perfectly. Archer was the hulking, dominant heel for the vast majority, and while the stuff with the outside interference really didn’t make a lot of sense, it didn’t take away from a great match with a super result. Good for Cody. Excited to see whether this becomes a TV title that’s defended on a weekly basis.
Penelope Ford vs Kris Statlander
This was meant to be Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D against Kris Statlander, but we’re told live on the show that the good doctor has suffered an injury and is unable to compete – and if the totally legitimate doctor we hear from is to be believed, it sounds like she’ll be out for a significant amount of time with a pretty serious knee injury. Obviously, we hope she recovers quickly.
However, in the preview I’ve now deleted, I predicted Kris Statlander to win this match as she continues to be positioned as a punchy fan-favourite babyface and I can’t see this last-minute sub changing that result. Plus, anyone who straight up insists they’re an alien is always a winner in my book.
My prediction: Kris Statlander
About eight minutes later, she does. It’s obvious that the injury to Baker has thrown the plans for this slot into disarray and while Ford and Statlander put on a decent show, understandably, it’s hardly a classic match. There’s one enormous spot where Statlander launches herself through the ropes to annihilate Ford and her valet Kip Sabian, who’s in plaster and on crutches following the earlier ladder match for a nice comedy visual.
Ford and Statlander eventually get back to the ring and it doesn’t take long for Statlander to drill Ford with the Big Bang Theory and get the expected one, two, three.
Winner: Kris Statlander (5/5)
Yeah. I thought she’d win before, and after the injury to Britt Baker, it only became more of a certainty. Ford did well given the circumstances, and Kris Statlander is surely in line for a title match before too long.
Dustin Rhodes vs Shawn Spears (w/ Tully Blanchard)
It has to be Spears, doesn’t it? They can lean into Dustin’s injuries at the hands of Lance Archer from a few weeks ago, plus the former Goldust never really needs to win on PPV nowadays. Spears would do far better from the rub, which would help further his vendetta against Cody.
My prediction: Shawn Spears
Shawn Spears enters first wearing a suit, clearly not dressed for a match. Oh dear. I’ve got a sinking feeling about my prediction run.
The commentary team play up the fact that nobody has seen Dustin Rhodes since he was put down by Lance Archer a few weeks ago on Dynamite. Just as it seems the match isn’t going to happen, Dustin’s music hits, Brandi Rhodes strides down the ramp… and Dustin is behind Spears in the ring! This fight is on!
I say fight. Rhodes does a great job of stripping Spears of his suit, shirt and shoes, so he’s just in the ring in a pair of socks (with garters) and some boxers with Tully Blanchard’s face over the crotch, and if this wasn’t a joke before, it sure is now.
Naturally, it doesn’t take long for Rhodes to raise Spears into the sky and drop him with the Final Reckoning… and after just the right amount of time, this exercise is over. That’s pro wrestling, folks.
Winner: Dustin Rhodes (5/6)
Well, okay. Sure.
Nyla Rose (c) vs Hikaru Shida
No DQ / No Countout Match for the AEW Women’s Championship
Nyla Rose isn’t losing this championship, and when she does, it’s going to be in an epic defeat to some kind of punchy fan-favourite babyface. I don’t think Shida, for all her great work, is going to win this one.
My prediction: Nyla Rose, crush!
Nyla Rose enters the match with kendo stick in hand, and you can see that this is going to be brutal from the get-go. She pastes Shida in the early going before launching her through a poker table on the outside and choking her down with a chair to the throat.
Back in the ring, Nyla continues to dominate until Shida rallies, but with most options open to her, she goes for a suplex and, you won’t be surprised to hear she doesn’t manage it. Back through the crowd, Shida regains the advantage again and goes for another suplex, and honestly, I don’t know why she’s so desperate to hit a suplex on a woman twice her size, but I’ll tell you this for free: it ain’t happening.
She does, however, manage a big hip toss and a running knee on the champion before reclaiming the kendo stick from the start of the match and utterly wailing on Rose for a few minutes.
At that point, back in the ring, she puts the kendo stick on the floor and tries to suplex Rose onto it, and I’m seriously, Hikaru – you aren’t going to hit a suplex on Nyla Rose. Why do you keep trying?
Shida gets her into position, I await a third consecutive failed attempt… oh my goodness, she hit it! Shida hits a massive suplex on Nyla Rose, onto the kendo stick, for a near fall!
This is a great showing from Shida, but her winning run is about to come to a crashing end. Nyla Rose turns things around with a massive running powerslam, powerbomb through a table set up in the corner, Death Valley Driver, then simply pulverises Shida with the kendo stick… before going to the top rope, and getting caught by Shida! SHIDA HITS A TOP ROPE FALCON ARROW ON ROSE! One! TWO!! Ooof, kick out at two!
Shida hits a forearm, Shining Wizard, cover! One, two, thr- NO! My goodness, I really didn’t think we’d get this many false finishes, but Shida really looks like she’s about to take this. What a performance from Hikaru Shida!
Shida waits for Rose to get back to her feet before baseball-batting her around the head with the kendo stick and hitting another running knee to the face… one… two… THREE! SHIDA IS THE CHAMPION! HIKARU SHIDA IS THE NEW AEW WOMEN’S WORLD CHAMPION!!
Winner: Hikaru Shida (5/7)
Wow wow wow. I thought this was going to be one of the easier-to-predict matches on the card, with Kris Statlander positioned as the one to take this title from Nyla Rose and I’m utterly amazed that she’s lost tonight, but seriously, hats off to Shida. What a performance. Can’t wait to see where the women’s title picture goes from here.
Jon Moxley (c) vs Mr. Brodie Lee
Singles Match for the AEW World Championship
This is Mr McLee’s first properly serious match since arriving in AEW what feels like nine months ago but was actually only in March. It’s also Moxley’s first properly serious feud since winning the belt from Jericho, so for him to lose it (permanently) to The Exalted One would be a massive surprise. With that said, I feel like there’s nothing I can do but predict Jon Moxley to retain even though I’d love to see the championship trapped in the slithering clutches of the Dark Order. Another time, perhaps.
My prediction: Jon Moxley to retain
This needs to be an A+ performance from Brodie Lee to properly establish himself as the monstrous leader of the Dark Order faction, and he’s very impressive in the early going. After he hits a massive tope on Moxley, Excalibur describes Lee as “a refrigerator running down a flight of stairs”, and I’ll tell you one thing for free: this fridge is slapping and slamming Moxley all over the arena, punctuated by a spine-shivering pumphandle suplex through a barricade on the outside.
Moxley’s offense so far in this match has been all in desperation, and it continues with a back drop on Lee through a table on the outside, but it takes worryingly little time for the fridge to regain control with a suplex through a wooden board on the outside, then drops the champion on top of it, and back in the ring, kicks Moxley’s head off with that massive big boot – but can only get a two count.
Lee takes Mox to the top of the ramp and points for a powerbomb off the side, but in a rare reversal, Moxley underhooks Lee, and hits a Paradigm Shift, assisted by the stairs… and both men crash through the stage itself! I did not see that coming, and for a while, both men are down and out of sight, but before long, Moxley is the first to reappear.
When Lee emerges from the hole, he is seriously bleeding from the head for a great visual – but he misses a surprise discus clothesline on Mox, who hits another Paradigm Shift, and this is surely over… WHAT! BRODIE LEE KICKS OUT AT ONE, in fact it was barely even one! WHAT ON EARTH! Okay – Brodie Lee has done it. He’s a monster, it’s official. Moxley picks up Lee, hits several punches then another Paradigm Shift… LEE OUT AT TWO!!
Ridiculous. Moxley, to his credit, cleverly rolls straight over and slaps a sleeper hold onto the prone Brodie Lee. Lee’s face is a picture as he tries to fight his way out of the submission, but it doesn’t take long for his hand to drop – and the referee calls it off! It’s over! Moxley survives, recovers, and retains!
Winner: Jon Moxley (6/8)
Great match. It needed to make Brodie Lee look like an ethereal monster, and it did just that. He dominated this match right up until that reversal Paradigm Shift through the stage, which then led to the finish – but coming away from it, you can honestly say that on another day, Lee could beat Moxley. It’s the perfect way to build both men with a clean finish. Well done.
Matt Hardy and The Elite (Adam Page, Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks) vs. The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho, Jake Hager, Sammy Guevara, Santana & Ortiz)
Stadium Stampede Match
I can’t see the Broken One taking a loss in his first AEW PPV match, so I’m putting all my chips on Matt Hardy and The Elite. The total chaos of whatever this is going to be should play into the hands of the Inner Circle, especially with the ongoing shenanigans within The Elite, but I think Broken Matt will have one too many tricks up his wizard’s sleeves.
My premoniiiiiition: Matt Hardy and The Elite
The one will start on the actual pitch at TIAA Bank Field, home of the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Inner Circle emerge in semi-American Football gear with numbers and everything – it’s a typically great touch for them. You can tell this is going to be huge fun.
Conspicuous by his absence is Adam Page, who doesn’t enter the fray with the rest of his team; perhaps a nod to how this one will finish? My predictions record says no, please no.
There is a ring in the middle of the field, which is where I assume the finish needs to take place, but quite honestly I don’t think anyone knows the rules of this match. This is made apparent when Hangman Page appears on a f–king horse and chases Sammy Guevara off the field, and meanwhile, all eight other men get in the ring and hit their various finishers on each other to keep things rolling along.
Guevara reappears to miss a shooting star press and then take a wonnnderfuuulll Twist of Fate from Hardy – nobody quite sells it like Sammy does. Hardy doesn’t go for a cover, though – oh no. There’s plenty more to come.
First, Matt Jackson climb onto the top of the goal post before hitting a moonsault onto Jericho and Guevara – brilliant spot that gets a two count, and also shows us that falls do indeed count anywhere. Good to know.
Meanwhile, way up in the stands, Santana and Ortiz are pummelling Omega and Hardy, before we cut back to Hangman Page inside the bowels of the stadium, still on his horse, still looking for Sammy Guevara, who’s been out on the field competing in the match for around ten minutes.
“If I get lost don’t send Hangman Page to look for me,” quips JR, and he’s not wrong. Page momentarily looks a little stupid, but responds by getting off his horse and heading to the stadium bar, and suddenly it all makes sense.
We head back to Omega, Hardy, Santana and Ortiz, who have made it across into the arena where the rest of the main card has taken place. The heels take out Hardy and throw salt in the eyes of Omega before powerbombing him through a barricade that was balanced between two high tables. Incredible spot that could finish the match, but Hardy breaks up the count – only to be chucked into a swimming pool that is, for some reason, on hand. I can’t tell you how bananas this match is, but I can tell you that I’m loving it.
Santana gets in to retrieve Hardy, but Ortiz insists he can’t help because he doesn’t know how to swim. Faced with a pool that’s only about three feet deep, he nervously gets in to help his partner out, and seriously, how can you not love Proud and Powerful? I know they’re meant to be heels, but it’s impossible not to like them.
Ortiz eventually makes it into the water and they attempt to, er, drown Matt Hardy – but the defiant North Carolinian re-emerges as Matt Hardy, version one – complete with a Matter of Fact screen layover that tells us Hardy can hold his breath for 346 seconds. It doesn’t stop Santana and Ortiz from continuing to hold his head underwater though, and when Matt stops struggling, Proud and Powerful leave the pool. “Why don’t you count that? He’s dead!” shouts Ortiz, in a moment that forces me to pause the broadcast because I can’t stop laughing. These guys are not just killing Matt Hardy, they’re also killing me.
Of course, the immortal Hardy is not dead at all, and recovers to drag Proud and Powerful back into the pool, back-dropping them both through a table, sticking Ortiz in a giant bell (?) and ringing it in his ears, then duct tapes him to a wheelchair. Sorry – chair of wheels.
He then locks Santana in a giant ice box and tells him that’ll help his inflammation; no comment. This little skit is over, and I’ve got to tell you, it’s one of the most amusing pro wrestling scenes I’ve watched for a long time.
Jake Hager has been pretty quiet in this match so far, but he’s seeking Hangman Page – and knows just where to look. He sits alongside his rival at the stadium bar, where Page asks him whether he’s come to fight… or drink. They both neck a large measure of absolutely not Jack Daniel’s before Page opines, “honestly… what’s the difference?”
And with that, the bar fight is on. Page breaks a pool cue over Hager’s back, but Hager doesn’t even flinch, eventually hitting Page with a Uranage over the table. He then faceplants Page on the bar and runs the cowboy along it, Western-style, and it’s a great visual that ends with a gutwrench powerbomb through a folding table that, somehow, only gets a two count.
Kenny Omega also realises that Page is likely to be in the bar and launches himself into the action, smashing several bottles of the bubbly over Hager’s head, but they can’t take the big man down. Page then slingshots over the back of Omega to hit a massive Buckshot Lariat on Hager that sends him over the bar itself, but rather than go for a cover, the tag champs share a drink together – milk for Omega, of course.
Back on the field, the Bucks are still going hell for leather with Jericho and Guevara. Matt Jackson hits a Northern Lights suplex on Guevara, rolls through into another, then another – and we hard-cut to Jericho taking Nick’s head off with some sort of flag. We cut back to Matt and Sammy, who are still going – it seems Jackson has rolled through so many times that he’s suplexed Guevara halfway down the field. I love, love, love this match.
Meanwhile, Nick has recovered and found a bag of footballs, one of which he quarterbacks right into Jericho’s nads – I’m not sure if that was a deliberate Simpsons reference, but I’m calling it. Jericho recovers to hit a Judas Effect on the Jaguars mascot who’s loitering nearby, puts a cone on his head to celebrate, but stands a bit too close to a practice net – which Nick Jackson superkicks him into… it’s good! It’s good! 3-0 to The Elite in this match, I assume. I really don’t know if this match is ever going to finish.
Meanwhile, Matt Jackson completes his full-length Northern Lights Suplexathon, finishing with a slam into the end zone – touchdown Bucks! 9-0 to The Elite now, and they’re well on top in this match, I guess.
With Guevara prone, the Bucks team up on Jericho, choking him with Floyd the baseball bat before Nick hits a massive splash onto Le Champion from the bleachers and through a table. Page then enters the fray with the white line painter and runs over Jericho with it in the latest of several comedy moments in this match, followed up by Sammy Guevara getting a sprinkler in the face – not a euphemism.
Sammy gets to his feet and, seeing nobody around him, assumes he’s won the match – but his celebrations are short lived. A horn sounds, Kenny Omega and Matt Hardy emerge in Guevara’s greatest enemy: a golf cart. He manages to escape momentarily, but is distracted by NEO-One swooping into the stadium, allowing Kenny Omega to hit a massive one-winged angel from the seats, down through a table, and puts a hand on Guevara’s chest for the one, two, three. My goodness, it’s over. I feel like I’ve been watching this match for a week, and not in a bad way. This was amazing.
Winners: Matt Hardy and The Elite (7/9)
There’s nothing I can say to sum up, other than this: if you haven’t watched this match, for goodness sake, go buy the PPV and watch it right now. It was ridiculous, ingenious, and hilarious. Fireworks explode over the stadium as Hardy, the Bucks and the champs stand tall. Absolute scenes.
Well, wouldn’t you just know it, that’s the end of AEW Double or Nothing 2020. As we’ve come to expect from All Elite, it’s another barnstorming pay-per-view, and I certainly can’t wait to see what happens this week on Dynamite from what we saw on the main card – but make no mistake, this event was all about that Stadium Stampede match, which I suspect we’ll be talking about for a long time to come. It was, to quote Matt Hardy, woonnnderfuuuulllll!
I’ve been Mike Paul, thanks for joining me, and I’ll see you next time for The Big Review of WWE Backlash!