Tomorrow night, WWE bring back one of the most iconic 90s PPV brands when NXT presents Takeover: In Your House.
Reports suggest WWE are going to be going all out with the kitsch feel. We already know Todd Pettengill is back for the show and reports suggest we can look forward to the old set, retro graphics and more.
For one night only, we will be transported back to an era of Tab Clear, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and Spice Girls and we cannot wait! [Ed’s note: WHAT ABOUT POGS? WILL THERE BE POGS?]
Now we are in a ‘Saved By The Bell’ kinda mood we thought we would jump in our phone box for an excellent adventure and have a think about 10 other 90s staples we would like to see WWE bring back.
We’re not talking Attitude Era here. No, we are thinking about things of the altogether cheesier variety.
Does that sound rad? Then let’s get to it.
Ol’ Blue Bars
Before there was Hell In A Cell, Elimination Chamber and the NXT Fight Pit that could be lowered from the ceiling, there was the big blue beauty that had to be assembled by a team of ring crew decked out in navy blue overalls.
This playset-friendly version of the cage served the then WWF well all the way through to it’s last use, a triple threat cage match at In Your House Breakdown between Mankind, The Rock and Ken Shamrock in September 1998.
For those of us of a certain age, this cage brings back memories of such iconic matches as Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy at WrestleMania 2, Bret Hart vs Owen Hart at SummerSlam 1994 and The Ultimate Warrior vs ‘Ravishing Rick Rude at SummerSlam 1990. Classics, in their own way, the lot of them.
Try thinking back on the blue cage without jumping right back to The New Generation. Can you?
Second Job Gimmicks
Time’s are tough in 2020. Multiple wrestlers have been laid off and many of us, this writer included, have spent time on furlough in recent week. But spare a thought for those WWF Superstars of the 90s who couldn’t keep the wolf from the door with wrestling alone.
These guys clearly needed to supplement their wrestling income each month and did so in a whole range of ways. From racing driver to plumber, ice hockey player to pig farmer, there were so many occupations represented that at times, a WWF PPV looked more like a job fair than a wrestling show.
And we loved it. Why not give it another go? How about Austin Theory as a barista? Chad Gable as an Uber driver?
OK, maybe our specific ideas need a little bit of work…
Frankly right now, we would like to see any type of paid fan in that front row. But wouldn’t it be even better if it were a certain tank top wearing, spectacle wearing super-fan?
Survivor Series Team Names
Anyone else completely sick of the lazy, boring ‘Team Raw’ or ‘Team Roman Reigns’ names for the squads at the November PPVs? What happened to a bit of imagination?
Bring back The Foreign Fanatics, The Visionaries, The Teamsters, The Dark Side, anything really. Just let’s have some proper team names.
And while we are at it, how about going back to four man teams, yeah?
The Neon Entrance
A staple at pretty much every WWF TV taping from what, 1992 to 1997? The simple, garish, bright and iconic entrance framed the first glimpse of so many WWE stars of the year, from Bret Hart to Alex ‘The Pug’ Porteau, The Steiner Brothers to Tekno Team 2000.
Wrestlers Releasing Singles
If you were a WWE fan in the UK in 1992, there is a damned good chance you bought the Slam Jam single as it made it to number four in the UK singles charts, back in a time that meant shifting a serious amount of cassettes.
Or maybe WrestleMania the single that made it to number fourteen the following year. Both of these singles, produced by a rookie music producer by the name of Simon Cowell, featured a raft of WWF superstars including The Undertaker, The Nasty Boys, Randy Savage and Tatanka.
Were the songs good? No, they were awful. But were they fun and memorable? Goodness me, yes!
Imagine Kevin Owens, Drew McIntyre, Daniel Bryan and Braun Strowman attempting to harmonise over an electronic backing track and try telling me you wouldn’t be straight down to Our Price to get a copy.
Sean Mooney’s Event Centre
OK, so we have a wonderful little thing called The Internet to keep us abreast with the matches booked for the next PPV. But how much more fun was it when we had to wait for a suave man in a WWF blazer to pop up in front of a bank of TV monitors to remind us that Adam Bomb would be facing Earthquake in 3 weeks time?
By all accounts, this protein supplement was staggeringly bad. Apparently it’s effectiveness was only matched in the terrible stakes by it’s awful taste.
But why not give it another go, eh? If WWE can re-market TapOut gear as a gym and fitness brand, why can’t they bring back ICOPRO but with the logo attached to an actually decent product?
Actually, we are only semi-joking on this one. With the value of the protein powder market alone being over $10 billion dollars per year and growing strongly annually, why not give ICOPRO another go?
If brands like Grenade, MusclePharm and BSN can grow into multi-billion dollar worldwide concerns, why can’t WWE launch their own brand built on a mixture of nostalgia and a whole army of in-house social media influencers?
The WrestleMania Theme
Better known to some as Linda McMahon’s entrance theme, this little ditty WAS WrestleMania to those of a certain age. Would it kill them to bring it back one year? We would even accept a Limp Bizkit cover version if it meant getting to hear it in Los Angeles next year!
Royal Rumble Entrance Rundowns
Do you remember the ones? What better way to get us amped up for a Royal Rumble PPV than a series of head shots of competing wrestlers zooming on and off the screen as Vince McMahon barks their names like they owe him money.
‘It’s time for the Rumble…IT’S TIME FOR THE ROYYYAAAALLL RUMBLE’
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