Money In The Bank 2020… In Haiku

Our bossman decided to summarise MITB 2020 using only haiku. We’re not quite sure why.

AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan are the perfect picks to help establish Riddle on NXT (photo: WWE)

I think we all expected something outlandish from the ‘climb to the roof of WWE headquarters’ edition of Money in the Bank.

But that? That was… well, it was… erm…

You know what? I couldn’t possibly gather all of my thoughts about that show into an article.

So, I’ll do it in haiku instead.

Yeah! That’ll work.

+++

Pre-show: Jeff Hardy defeated Cesaro

Didn’t make main show
Yet Lince Dorado did
Just kidding, Lince

Smackdown tag titles: New Day (c) retained vs Miz & Morrison, Lucha House Party and Forgotten Sons

Gran and John are nuts
Yet another multi-man
Oh ****, that’s Gunner

Bobby Lashley defeated R-Truth

What a super-sub
Like Postiga in 04
WHAT’S UP? (no response)

Smackdown women’s title: Bayley (c) defeated Tamina Snuka

Token Tammy gig
She’s Jimmy’s daughter, y’know
This title reign’s naff

WWE Universal title: Braun Strowman (c) defeated Bray Wyatt

Felt like just Act One
Of a much longer saga
Smashing sweater, mind

WWE World title: Drew McIntyre (c) defeated Seth Rollins

A low-key banger
Wasted on an empty gaff
Wow, Code of Honor!

Women’s Money In The Bank: Asuka defeated Carmella, Dana Brooke, Lacey Evans, Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler

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People Power pied
The stick-and-move worked a treat
Steph’s kickback money?

Men’s Money In The Bank: Otis defeated AJ Styles, Aleister Black, Daniel Bryan, King Corbin and Rey Mysterio

Vince scolding lil’ guys
Corbin Cobo Hall’d two dudes
Otis is a lad

Overall:

Over already?
December to Dismember
May have run longer

Drew and Seth rocked
Borash specials jumped the shark
At least Corbin lost

Risk worth the reward?
Not when I hear that buzzphrase
Eight million times

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