NXT Takeover: In Your House takes place just a few hours after writing this as WWE takes us back to the 90s. We can’t wait!
Yesterday we wrote a list-icle detailing 10 things we want WWE to bring back after In Your House.
In the interests of balance, and to show we don’t have our rose tinted glasses on ALL the time, here is a list of eight things we don’t want to see back any time soon.
Hands up anyone over 30, anyone that got a rollicking for calling up a 49p per minute hotline to hear Jim Ross tell us what happened on Raw that week so you didn’t have to wait until WWF Mania?
…Mr Perfect turned on Marc Mero to help Hunter Hearst Helmsley steal the Intercontinental Title by the way…
These things were a big money spinner back in the day so god bless the internet for making them obsolete. Clickbait might be annoying but at least it costs you a few seconds rather than two weeks pocket money!
Exploitative Female Matches
Let’s not try and be all holier than thou after the fact. Young Hooked On Wrestling was THERE for these matches in our formative years. We weren’t exactly booing the TV when they were on. Were you?
But looking back now, thank goodness they’ve gone the way of the dinosaur and been replaced by genuine chances for women to entertain rather than titillate.
Raw & PPVs On Delay
OK, so North American readers might not appreciate this but back in the 90s, us UK viewers didn’t get to see Raw in its entirely until around 1995. Before then it was highlights on a 11 day delay.
Hell, even when we got Raw, it was delayed until Friday (as was Nitro). We didn’t actually get Raw live on a Monday until late 2004. Imagine that?
Now imagine not getting any PPVs live until Survivor Series 1996. That was the first shown in the UK at the same time it aired in the US. Imagine the outcry of spoilers then!
We LOVE a good terrible gimmick as much as the next person. But unless that next person is Joe Exotic, I don’t think any of us will be calling out for a return of some of WWE’s ‘beastly’ 90s gimmicks.
What on earth were they thinking with the likes of Mantaur, Battle Kat and The Gobbledy Gooker? Did they get a sponsorship deal from Central Park Zoo?
No, let’s have more wrestling janitors but you can keep your half man, half sloth gimmick thank you.
Disrespecting Outside Stars
The rap sheet here is a long one but how many times did WWE bring in a big name from elsewhere and change their name, alter their gimmick or downright pretend they were a total rookie? It was absurd!
Dusty Rhodes in polka dots…..Tony Atlas running around barefoot as the ‘Tribesman’ Saba Simba (More on that later) or ECW mainstay Shane ‘The Franchise’ Douglas getting a teacher gimmick! Come on!
It’s almost like they wanted to humble these guys on purpose. Surely not….
We’re not going to expand on this as this article isn’t meant to be deep and serious. All we will say is that some of the shots taken at gender, sexuality, race, nationality, body type, disability and mental health most certainly deserve to stay long up in the annals of history. Thank goodness things have changed in wrestling.
Terrible wrestling shirts
Austin 3:16 and NWO. Two shirts that changed everything.
Nowadays we have a plethora of styles and designs in terms of merchandise. There is something for every taste and budget. Back in the early 90s….Not so much. Did you really want to wear a t-shirt that was just a picture of your favourite babyface posing on a neon background? Nowadays in an ironic retro way? Back then…We would have rather worn a Global Hypercolour shirt!
Royal Rumbles Without Individual Entrance Music
Music for each entrance. The single best innovation in WWE’s best ever gimmick match since it started? We think so. It adds so much to the drama of the match and allows the audience to react in a much more dramatic way to each entrance which in turn adds so much to the feel of the match. Go back and watch the matches without music for all entrants now. It just looks odd.